Real Life 10 Comments

2016 wrap-up: whatever, man

I haven’t published much here lately, despite having a drafts section filled with half-written posts and random thoughts. I’m having a difficult time finding the motivation to complete a post.

Like, it’s the end of the year and usually I have a ton of lists right now with my favorite movies and games and stuff, and I’ve thought about doing it this year but I just keep bumping off the same result: what’s the point? The world is super shitty in many places right now, including my home. Does it really matter if I thought 10 Cloverfield Lane was pretty great? Do I even care enough to tell you? Hey everyone, stop for a moment being shot and poisoned by your water supply and having your right to exist being legislated away so I can tell you what a great job Karen Kusama does directing The Invitation.

Austin Walker, the EiC of the new games outlet Waypoint, had a nice essay about this malaise back in November. I agree with a lot of his hopeful and optimistic points, but I also think not a lot of it applies to the wee hobbyist blogger. And as a woman who was having opinions about games on the internet two or three years ago, this year has just felt like an endorsement of terrifying bullshit.

Which leads me to another part of my problem — one of the reasons I used to blog was because I generally liked people, and enjoyed reaching out to them. Meeting people from the internet was my bag, man, even if it was never in person. Currently, though.. I no longer like people by default. I distrust them. There is a not insignificant chance that any random person reading this would cheerfully vote to send some of my friends and loved ones to an internment camp. In some cases, they already have. I don’t know how to come back from that, to return to a place where we can all just be yay pop culture also please stop wondering on CNN if my husband is a person but hey how about that new Final Fantasy??

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still watching movies, and playing games. I’m also spending time with family and baking a lot of cookies and getting involved with the local city council election. It’s just that for me, talking about pop culture stuff right now doesn’t matter, whether I’m writing the hot takes or reading them. It all just feels like the band playing while the ship goes down.

I miss blogging and I’m constantly composing posts in my head, the same way I’ve been doing for most of my life, but right now the will to actually sit down and write and edit and publish and promote just isn’t there. I hope the world in 2017 returns to a place where I feel okay spending time and energy on things like griping about MMO payment models and writing reviews of awful teen supernatural movies, but at the moment it doesn’t look great.

 

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10 Comments

  • Reply
    Carson
    December 19, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    Thanks for the link to that “What Gamergate should have taught us about the ‘alt-right'” piece, I read The Guardian but somehow missed that one. Very interesting indeed.

    Here’s hoping 2017 is a damn sight better than 2016 was!

    • Reply
      Jessica Cook
      December 21, 2016 at 11:46 am

      Glad to have shared the link! And yes, here’s hoping for 2017.

  • Reply
    Isey
    December 19, 2016 at 4:49 pm

    I blog and game to escape all of that. Doesn’t mean I am ignoring it all, I read too much news (absorbing the Economist in its entirety weekly). It’s ok to have parts of your life a breather, while you tackle the rest day to day.

    I’m Canadian – so when it comes to safe living, privilege and all of that I’m right up there. I’m aware of that distinctly.

    The world is a scary place. We can make it better, but it’s baby steps – and my sphere of influence is insignificant in the grand scheme of it all. But it is still mine.

    So is my blog. It won’t change the world but it helps me breathe. That breath helps me work. Helps me take care of my family. Be good to my friends. My community.

    Hopefully that counts, somewhere.

    Happy Holidays to you Liore, thank you for sharing your voice.

    • Reply
      Jessica Cook
      December 21, 2016 at 11:46 am

      Thanks for the response! And yeah, I think it’s perfectly valid to escape into games and movies and whatnot right now. It’s going to be a long haul, the next few years, and we need to maintain our stamina.

  • Reply
    Ethan "Isarii "Macfie
    December 19, 2016 at 10:38 pm

    I guess it’s called escapism for a reason!

    But yeah, I feel you. Every time I manage to console myself that maybe this is just what it feels like to lose an election after feeling like a part of a smug, comfortable majority for the last eight years, I look to the news and see something so new and horribly disconcerting that I’m thrust once more into a vortex of the same swirling feeling of general fucked being.

    I dropped off the blogosphere for a bit myself during the final, soul-crushing months of the world’s least entertaining yet decidedly most riveting reality show, but I’m making my way back to my old habits slowly but surely. I’m not sure if it’s the return of normalcy or, well, escapism, but somehow moving on seems like the right thing to do as I forge ahead through the five stages of grief; I’m sure I’ll reach acceptance some day.
    Ethan “Isarii “Macfie´s last post: The Increasingly Troubling Monetization of The Elder Scrolls Online, Part 2

  • Reply
    Roger Edwards
    December 20, 2016 at 1:14 am

    I did precious little writing in 2016 compared to 2015. I managed to contribute to the NBI (although that’s fast becoming a redundant event) and Blaugust but by and large, I lack the spirit to write regularly. As I age my enthusiasm for many things has been tempered. My personal life has changed so gaming has been somewhat sidelined. Plus the real world has gone to shit in the last 18 months making me question the wisdom of excessive “escapism”.

    However, 2017 is just around the corner so I may focus my ambitions on a new project. A new broom sweeps clean and all that. Plus I can’t just stand on the sidelines while so much crap goes down unchallenged. I may have to at least write about the important things that concern me politically and socially.

    May be you might want to do the same? However, taking time out can also be a sound strategy.

    • Reply
      Jessica Cook
      December 21, 2016 at 11:44 am

      I’ve come to a very similar conclusion! I think writing more about current events and politics (although maybe not on this exact site) is definitely in my future.

  • Reply
    coppertopper
    December 20, 2016 at 6:31 pm

    This year has been polarizing to the extreme. Was GG a 2016 thing? Shit… . The last 2 months of the election just felt like it sucked a years worth of energy out of me. I listened to all of your horror movie podcasts and loved them.

    • Reply
      Jessica Cook
      December 21, 2016 at 11:44 am

      Oh yay! Thanks for listening — you just made my day. :)

  • Reply
    Sunny
    January 4, 2017 at 8:40 am

    I just found your blog today and I really enjoy it. I think a lot of people can relate to how your feeling. Write what you like and we will read it..

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