The Game Industry 23 Comments

A Modest Proposal about Boobs

Okay, okay, okay. So WildStar just reduced the breast size of the Human and Aurin (bunnygirls!) character models in this latest beta patch. Most people either don’t care or are generally pleased with the decision, while a vocal minority are flipping out.

We’re often told that part of the reason female characters are almost always designed to be sexually attractive to straight dudes first and foremost is capitalism and marketing and business and stuff, right? So here’s my idea.

MMOs make female characters who are proportional or even shaped in ways not usually found in games, and then put giant ridiculous boobs in the cash shop. You want a big bouncy ladybutt to ogle while you run around? Buy the .99 badonkadonk upgrade. Want your Night Elf to jiggle enticingly as her idle animation? (Sigh.) That’s $1.99, but it applies account-wide so it’s actually a deal!

If games need sexually attractive female characters to make money, and free-to-play makes more money than subscription, then putting giant boobs in the cash shop should make cash by the wagonload! Hey, it’s just what the market demands, baby.

MMO companies, you can thank me later.

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23 Comments

  • Reply
    RohanV
    January 16, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    I don’t know if you are joking, but SWTOR’s Barbie hairstyle and the various bikinis are very popular. They seem to be staples of the cash shop.
    RohanV´s last post: Heart’s Desire

    • Reply
      Jessica Cook
      January 16, 2014 at 3:47 pm

      I am sort of joking because really (in my opinion) the solution is for more diversity and creativity in character models, but the most common argument against that is that “sex sells”.

      And cash shop bikinis were definitely something I thought about while writing this!

      • Reply
        RohanV
        January 16, 2014 at 3:52 pm

        The thing is that I can see this happening. Put up a a basic character for free. Then *all* customizations–sexy, non-sexy, or just eye color–are purchasable.
        RohanV´s last post: Heart’s Desire

  • Reply
    Joseph Skyrim
    January 16, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    Scarlet Blade does something similar to this, though not in character customization. There was a not too cheap cash shop item that lets you remove the already quite revealing undergarments if they still cover too much for you. I wonder how well that is selling as I think it’s -per- character.
    Joseph Skyrim´s last post: Farcry 3: The Warrior’s Path

    • Reply
      Jessica Cook
      January 20, 2014 at 10:39 am

      Ahhh, Scarlet Blade. As I recall that game is basically “Male Gaze: The MMO” so I’m not surprised there’s a naked upgrade! I too wonder how well it’s selling…

      • Reply
        Stefan
        February 28, 2014 at 6:38 am

        Late to the party BUT: Just want to point out that marketing in the west for Scarlet Blade is wonky, since it in Korea is clearly marketed as a soft-core erotic game, while it is pushed (to the degree it is pushed) in the west as a game more serious than it is.

  • Reply
    Telaan
    January 16, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    Hahaha! I approve of this plan as long as a) your purchase gets announced on some social media platform or at least to your guild: “Liore just purchased a badonkadonk+10 upgrade!” and b) we can get some penile/abs/just-make-him-look-like-Kratos-or-Ezio cash shop options as well.

    Who’s with me??

    • Reply
      Jessica Cook
      January 20, 2014 at 10:40 am

      YES. I also think asking about one’s previous sexy cash shop purchases on guild apps is entirely acceptable. ;)

  • Reply
    Murf
    January 16, 2014 at 9:24 pm

    Can we also have giant … erm … codpiece DLCs? I want to show off my character’s hidden virility state (its just between strength and stamina, if you were curious). ;)
    Murf´s last post: Shut down the Black Lion Trading Post | Life As A Digital Salad

    • Reply
      Talarian
      January 16, 2014 at 9:45 pm

      Only tangentially related, but I’m suddenly reminded of Tim Minchin’s “Confessions” (WARNING: NSFW Language, Strong Opinions): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1EhaANeYCI

      But I’m with Murf. I’m already on record stating that I loved TERA’s equal opportunity for ogling.
      Talarian´s last post: Achievement Unlocked: Permanent Residence

      • Reply
        Jessica Cook
        January 20, 2014 at 10:46 am

        Elin aside (the underage look is just too squicky), I could not agree more about TERA. The Castanic males in particular with their treasure trails were hilarious and awesome, and made TERA a lot more palatable overall.

  • Reply
    Lani
    January 17, 2014 at 12:27 am

    Funny thing, AOC actually has something like this in their cashshop.
    It’s a consumable that blows up your boobs for X ammount of time. I can’t say I’ve actually seen it in use and wasn’t interested in getting the item myself.

    • Reply
      Jessica Cook
      January 20, 2014 at 10:50 am

      I heard about that on Twitter after posting this. Apparently they also have “arm upgrades” to give one’s character more muscles.

      AoC also lets you buy a “Pleasure Priestess” companion in the cash shop. Grody!

  • Reply
    Grimmtooth
    January 17, 2014 at 6:31 am

    That’s actually quite brilliant. And ultimately it’ll settle that whole “capitalism” trope as well.
    Grimmtooth´s last post: An intervention is probably not out of the question

  • Reply
    j3w3l
    January 17, 2014 at 6:08 pm

    Haha, this is hilarious and would actually sell quite well as BADS love there bewbs and this way our characters don’t have to look like sex dolls
    j3w3l´s last post: Searching for Something in Star Trek Online

  • Reply
    Ravanel Griffon
    January 18, 2014 at 2:49 am

    I like it. Does it make me a bad person if I’d probably laugh at guys with huge boobs (cause they will most certainly be guys buying them), imagining how much cash they’d have to spend on that? ;)
    Ravanel Griffon´s last post: SL: My first steps in Second Life

    • Reply
      Jessica Cook
      January 20, 2014 at 10:55 am

      If that makes you a bad person then you are in excellent company! ;)

    • Reply
      Anonymous
      March 21, 2015 at 3:45 am

      Oh, feel free to laugh at me, Everyone does.
      I just don’t care, I like boobs.

  • Reply
    Green Armadillo
    January 18, 2014 at 6:11 am

    The problem is what to do about the box art and promotional screenshots. They’re not going to want to use the non-premium assets for the first thing the customer sees, so they’ll need to start using disclaimers like cars do indicating that premium assets are depicted.
    Green Armadillo´s last post: New Year’s Curiosities for 2014

  • Reply
    The Nickster
    January 18, 2014 at 10:11 am

    The boob slider is automatically unlocked for subscribers, while Free Players can unlock extra boobage through our “S & M” lockboxes. Just click the “NSFW” icon to open the cash shop.

  • Reply
    The last word from 2014 | Herding Cats
    December 31, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    […] A Modest Proposal About Boobs * An Unofficial Guide to Firelands (I stole this from Elly) * Friday Five: I Told You So Edition […]

  • Reply
    The last word from 2014 | Totally Legit Publishing
    December 31, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    […] A Modest Proposal About Boobs * An Unofficial Guide to Firelands (I stole this from Elly) * Friday Five: I Told You So Edition […]

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    March 21, 2015 at 3:44 am

    I love this idea.

    Games really do need bigger boobs in them.

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